Sunday, July 25, 2010

So was Trudie Styler"s Bafta skirt any good? Hadley Freeman Life and character The Guardian

Orange British Academy Film Awards 2010 - Red Carpet Arrivals

Trudie Styler . . . "sharp" or "tired and pale?" Photograph: Chris Jackson/Getty Images Europe

I"m confused: after the Baftas last weekend, I incited to the writings to find out what, precisely, I should think of the frocks. But such confusion! ­According to the Guardian website, Trudie Styler"s mini black skirt was "sharp"; according to an additional paper, it "made her see dark and tired". How are we, the public, ever to know what to think if even you conform people are all at contingency and ends?

Marianne, London

Ah, but that"s the deceit plan, Marianne! You see, at each awards rite we, the character writers, lay in a round – a coven, even – and then, cackling, on purpose blear the message, thus, keeping you confused and us in the jobs: "Ha ha ha! OK, Hilary, you discuss it thereaders that you"re unimpressed with Carey Mulligan"s dress! Ha ha! But afterwards Lisa, you discuss it the Times posse that you think her skirt was "daring". Oh yeah, baby! Ooh, and we haven"t even proposed on Winslet yet!"

OK, that"s not utterly true. Of march we don"t all cling to out together – have you never seen The Devil Wears Prada? Well, it"s unequivocally only similar to that and it"s a systematic actuality that if any dual conform editors are ever in the same room together, they will try to take one another"s jobs, even if they"re both already gainfully employed.

The point is, those articles competence review as if they"re giving the decisive thumbs up or thumbs down to an outfit, but the law is that it"s only subjective. Yes, really. Style writers remonstrate in the same approach that movie critics competence talk about about the merits of Up in the Air (which, incidentally, would have been intolerable but George Clooney and is the majority regressive movie this side of The Blind Side) or A Single Man (which was poetic and has suffered a little really astray slings and arrows of anti-Ford snobbery, what with him ­being a – spot – conform engineer and all. Film critics don"t similar to conform ­designers). Because ambience is not a systematic fact, it"s a biased variable.

So, there we go. Just a bucket of pointless opinions. Well, solely when it"s me, of course. Then it"s the absolute, God-given, decisive truth.

As for Trudie, the skirt was OK; it was the tights that were the problem.

I keep celebration of the mass that "sporty" is in conform this season. What only does that mean?

Mandy Bates

Ice Cube once pronounced that hold up ain"t a lane meet, it"s a marathon. Well, but wanting to incite the madness of the strong Cube, conform begs to talk about this deteriorate since it"s not only using garments that are in fashion; it"s garments from all the sports at the meet! At the track! Er, whatever the terminology is!

You see, Mandy, the conform universe is going by one of the phases. Now, a little people would report those phases as "gloriously open-minded, receiving impulse from all demeanour of sources, no have a difference how improbable". Others would say, "desperately scrabbling around for things to duplicate in each sodding corner".

Whatever your view, here"s the sitch: tracksuit trousers are in fashion, à la those in all ragged in the gym for the "cool down" event of the gymnastics class; big messy sweatshirts are in fashion, similar to the ones dancers allegedly wear (circa 1986. On TV. In Fame); bizarre wetsuit-style dresses and tops are in fashion, suggesting a little designers have detected surfing recently; wearing swimsuits but anything on one"s bottom half is, of course, utterly the dernier cri (merci beaucoup Madame Ga de Ga); big body-builder-like shoulders still, sigh, appear to be around; I have already speckled something called "skater skirts" at Topshop (Ask Hadley: inquisitive stating at the finest); there have even – God assistance us – been a little bowling-style boots touted in the conform magazines. My goodness, this isn"t a lane meet, it"s the mofo Olympics, people.

Now, is this new direction one to have you dance around with complacency similar to the new manuscript from the Drums? Or does it have you throttle on your own puke similar to that advert in that Martine McCutcheon talks about "tummy amatory care" (we ain"t in Love, Actually anymore, baby)? I"m going to plump for somewhere in the middle. This mainstay does not authorize of sport, possibly in the witness or spectator sense. Thus, sauce for it feels similar to wearing hair if you"re a vegetarian: a profanation of one"s principles. However, any conform direction that advocates an elasticated waist is not to be discharged easily and, thus, I stay my wholly down-pointed thumb. And yes, Marianne, that is the definitive, if rather water-treading, verdict.

• Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email


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