Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The ten funniest ever Yes Minister moments

By Michael Hogan Published: 6:13PM GMT twenty-four February 2010

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YES MINISTER: Derek Fowlds, Nigel Hawthorne and Paul Eddington YES MINISTER: Derek Fowlds, Nigel Hawthorne and Paul Eddington Photo: BBC

1 Jim Hacker takes bureau In the domestic sitcoms initial ever episode, Jim Hacker (Paul Eddington) is done Minister for Administrative Affairs and meets his Principal Private Secretary, Bernard Woolley (Derek Fowlds), and Permanent Secretary, Sir Humphrey Appleby (Nigel Hawthorne).

Bernard shows the Minister turn his office: "It used to be pronounced there were dual kinds of chairs to go with dual kinds of ministers: one sort that folds up now and the alternative sort that goes turn and turn in circles."

Cherie Blair: Its good being a witness again, rather than a witness competition More TV highlights: Thursday twenty-five Jun The Apprentice 2009: Margaret Mountfords Apprentice Watch ? Week Ten Britons know some-more about prime celebrities than story Blond on blonde: Mrs T?s irrefutable bequest

2 Political animalsHacker meets animal rights protesters.

Activist: "There is zero special about man, Mr Hacker. Were not on top of nature. Were all piece of it. Men are animals too, you know."

Hacker: "I know that, Ive only come from the House of Commons."

3 Negative taste Inspired by his wife, the Minister decides to do something about the series of women in the Civil Service.

Sir Humphrey: "Surely there arent all that many?"

Bernard: "The Minister thinks we need more."

Sir Humphrey: "But were up to share on typists, cleaners and tea ladies."

Hacker: "Im articulate about comparison polite servants. We need womanlike mandarins."

Bernard: "Sort of satsumas?"

4 Drinks Cabinet The Home Secretary is arrested for drink-driving after causing a truck installed with chief rubbish to crash.

Hacker: "Hell have to resign."

Sir Humphrey: "Alas, yes."

Hacker: "What on earth will occur to him?"

Sir Humphrey: "Well, I accumulate he was as dipsomaniac as a lord, so after a watchful interval, theyll probably have him one."

5 A make a difference of honours Bernard explains the abbreviations for assorted Foreign Office honours.

Bernard: "Of course, in the service, CMG stands for Call Me God. And KCMG for Kindly Call Me God."

Hacker: "What about GCMG?"

Bernard: "God Calls Me God."

6 Lies, darned lies… The Minister is interviewed by the BBC.

Hacker: "This supervision believes in shortening bureaucracy."

Ludovic Kennedy: "Well, total that I have here contend that your departments staff has risen by 10 per cent."

Hacker: "Certainly not. I hold the figure is most some-more similar to 9.97."

Kennedy: "How are you going to confront the plea of reform?"

Hacker: "Its far as well early to give minute proposals. After all, I have only come here approach from Number 10."

Kennedy: "From Number 9.97, perhaps?"

7 Briefs confront Hacker is about to face a Select Committee hearing. Sir Humphrey has rebuilt thriving lecture records for him.

Hacker: "Why cant ministers go anywhere but briefs?"

Bernard: "Its in box they get held with their trousers down."

8 Industrial denunciation Sir Humphrey personally encourages health workers to go on strike.

Union official: "But what about the Minister?"

Sir Humphrey: "The Minister doesnt know his ACAS from his NALGO."

9 Better out-tray than in-tray When the Minister is inundated with correspondence, Bernard offers to take it off his hands by promulgation "official replies".

Bernard: "Ill only say, The Minister has asked me to appreciate you for your minute and something similar to The make a difference is underneath consideration, or even underneath active consideration."

Hacker: "Whats the difference?"

Bernard: "Well, underneath care equates to weve lost the file, underneath active care equates to were perplexing to find it."

10 The Euro-sausageThe Minister has been in talks with the European Commissioner about standardising the names of foodstuffs.

Bernard: "They cant stop us eating the British sausage, can they?"

Hacker: "No, but they can stop us job it a sausage. Apparently the got to be called the Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube."

Bernard: "And you swallowed it?"


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